Esteemable things
November 2023 Collective Offering
Hello my bbyz, I’m back! Did you all have a nice October? I hope so.
Me? Well, I had grand old time. Getting married was an incredibly special experience, and not just because of the whole ‘making a solemn vow’ thing. The support from our community of unbelievably talented friends - writers, photographers, game-makers, performers, musicians and more - who lent us their skills and creativity for the event added a unique brand of magic to the occasion. Community and collaboration continue to be some of the things I’m most grateful for in this life.
My hope for us all, as the air continues to grow colder and the nights insist on getting longer, is that we find warmth and light through our cherished friendships, communities or new connections.
Below is the Collective Offering for November.
Love and magic,
ilayda
Wtf are the cards saying?
In the story of the Tarot, the Star is the first bright card that follows a string of quite dark, shitty ones. When the Star appears after the Devil's entrapment and the Tower's destruction, it offers us a moment of hope. A hope that even though our hands are still bound, and our surroundings are in ruins, recovery or freedom or opportunity or laughter or love is imminent... Or at the very least, possible.
Do not mistake this concept for the love and light toxic positivity bullshit that capitalist woo-woo merchants seem to love peddling these days. The "everything happens for a reason" brigade tend to overuse this concept of divine meaning-making. Instead of using their faith in the universe as a means to connect more deeply with their humanity and empathy, they (often unknowingly) create a distance between themselves and others because of their insistence on putting a positive spin on all experiences, no matter how dire or tragic.
Having hope is not about burying your head in the sand about the atrocities in the world or the difficulties in your own life. It is about truthfully acknowledging the tragedies or challenges whilst simultaneously expressing optimism that you can work through them. It is not just about just seeing the glass as half full - it's knowing that you (we, all of us) have the power to refill it, even if it's empty.
This idea can be easier to accept on a singular, micro, personal level in application to your own life (all that Ace energy) but much harder to believe in the context of the wider world. Training your brain to trust in your own agency can seem more possible than reaching out to the leaders of the world and getting them to change their minds about committing war crimes or destroying the planet. Plumbing the depths of your emotional reserves and sense of self (Know Thyself) in order to find sources of joy (Reason to Live Juice) to create a life that prioritises it can seem more tangible than getting powerful people to agree to the basic human rights or wellbeing of entire populations. And so, our lives can become one of quiet disconnection from our brothers and sisters who suffer. We can want to guide and help (Hand in Hand) but feel hopeless about how.
Yet the Star implores us not to give up hope. The true gift of working on yourself, of building a life where you seek and create opportunity (Ace of Pentacles), of allowing yourself to connect with instinct and passion (Ace of Wands), is that you can then offer those same things to others (Hand in Hand). In a time where death, destruction and tragedy is ripping through the Middle-East once more, where weather patterns are reaching alarming tipping points, it can be easy to say: "What the fuck can I possibly do? I've got my own problems, how can I possibly make a difference?" And it's a good question - what CAN we do? How can we work on ourselves and our own lives, while also holding space for the rest of humanity?
A common slogan in twelve-step programmes is "if you want self-esteem, do esteemable things." It touches on the idea that doing something that makes you feel strong, compassionate, competent, brave, and upstanding will hone your sense of self, improve your mindfulness and open the door to good decision making and community building in life. So, what esteemable things can you offer? It doesn't have to be huge and earth shattering. It's unlikely that we'll get a private audience with Rishi Sunak, and we probably can't stop the BP’s CEO from greenlighting more oil drilling.
But, like the hands that reach through the cosmos grasping a pentacle of opportunity and a burning wand of passion in the Tarot, we absolutely can reach out to others and provide something for them. Resources, time and unique skill sets (Pentacles) for causes. Empathy, mentoring, validation (Hand in Hand) for those who feel lost or hurt. Critical thinking and moral guidance (Know Thyself) for our friends, family and peers. Laughter, love, passion and art (Reason to Live Juice, Ace of Wands). These are our small, fragile, humble offerings that can lead to great impactful change. These are the things that will help keep hope alive - not just for ourselves but for others too.
UPDATES
November Availability for 1-1 Tarot Readings
Readings will be held mostly on evenings and weekends.
If you’re looking for a little insight and magic, then I’d love to connect with you over the cards again. Book your readings here.
Dear I
Throw me your questions about love, career, friendships, families, grief, annoying neighbours, and everything in between. Every month I’ll pick a few that move me, and use the cards to respond. Our exchange will be public, but your identity will be kept totally anonymous, like this example.
Email realvibestarot@gmail.com to submit your letters.