Hope is overrated?
March 2024 Collective Offering
Happy March, to my little digital coven.
A quick note to say you can listen to this month’s offering (above), if you don’t fancy reading it.
The message from the cards does all the talking this edition.
May we all find our footing this month.
Love,
ilayda
Wtf are the cards saying?
In case anyone has ever wondered, when I prepare the monthly offerings, I usually sit down with the cards and my laptop about a week or so before the start of the next month. I draw the cards, and stare at them for a bit, and let my brain do its thing. Sometimes the ideas rush through me, and the words tumble out over the course of one session. Other times, it's a little stoppy-starty, I have to return to the cards and the writing over the course of a couple of days. And very occasionally, it feels impossible - like the rush of feelings and thoughts and emotions the cards prompt within me are so tangled and fast moving, that I don't know where to begin with having them make sense to myself, let alone anyone else. Last month, you didn't receive an offering from me, because it was one of those impossible feeling months. This month you almost didn’t receive an offering, because again, the cards felt just as impossible to decipher. Don’t get me wrong, the drawn cards carry pretty nice messaging (Hope! Inspiration! Guidance! Manifesting! A call to adventure! Achievement! Celebration! Being seen and heard!) but something in me couldn't couldn't speak coherently to or with any of it.
Day after day, I returned to the spread, hoping for adequate words - nothing came. I tried writing on my laptop, in a notebook, on post-it notes, in email drafts, in the notes app on my phone. Nothing. I knew all the things I wanted to say, and could say, and should say and ought not to say; vague notions of the lore and old myths and symbolism and philosophies I could draw upon. But when it came to making something meaningful, something authentic, words failed me.
Finally, for the second month in a row, after a week I gave up hope, saying “fuck it, who reads these anyway?” and tapped out.
****
I started Real Vibes Tarot almost by accident. I’d been reading Tarot on and off for myself and close friends for just under a year and I had no intention of turning it into anything more than a cool party trick or way of lightheartedly helping my friends make sense of the various fuckenings that occurred in their lives. Then the pandemic hit, and well... Life became a bit intense and weird. A daily practice with the cards emerged, and so too, did my understanding that these cards were way more than just a cool party trick. One day someone I only vaguely know posted something on Instagram about feeling muddled, so I replied offering them a free tarot reading via Zoom. They loved it and told a friend, who told another friend, and they told a bunch of other friends after that...
I decided to follow the warm fuzzy feelings (Six of Wands) the universe was sending me (The Star), and signed up to some classes by world renowned Tarot readers. I read a bunch of books. I journaled a lot. I set up RealVibesTarot on IG to be a sort of outpost for my new explorations and live-learnings, as well as a hand(ier) way of people getting in touch if they wanted readings. When the lockdowns ended, I was surprised but pleased to realise that there was still just as much interest, if not more for my tarot readings. Demand grew, so RVT did too, because I continued to let the warm fuzzies associated with exploring new territory (Two of Wands) and positive feedback (Six of Wands) lead the way.
Four years, hundreds of readings, and a buttload of time and financial investment in - I am not sure of where to take this little venture. My vision is the opposite of clear, and I have no grand plan or idea (Two of Wands). The hubbub and warm glow that came from being seen and heard (Six of Wands) has died down. And I am not sure where to go next; I’m searching for a guiding sign (The Star), but unable to find one.
****
I'm not sharing this with you to gain sympathy, make excuses or anything else of the sort. I'm sharing it because it adds important and very real-time context to the themes of this month’s cards. We live in a society that places enormous importance on both knowing our dreams (Two of Wands) AND making them come true, or at least being seen to do so (Six of Wands). But what if you don't know what your dreams are? What if you're struggling to make them come true? What if the reality of existence is messier and more uncertain than simply 'see the thing', 'want the thing', 'realise/get/achieve the thing'? How do we keep doing anything, without dreams or calls to adventure or promises of success to spur us on?
I gave up hope of writing the monthly offering twice in a row. And yet, both times, my mind continued to stray to the cards long after I’d walked away from trying to write about them for an audience. I immersed myself in other, arguably more pressing aspects of my life - and yet the twice unfulfilled monthly ritual of talking to and writing about the cards hung over me, kept demanding my attention. Why??? It’s not like I have legions of fans (Six of Wands) desperate to read my offerings. Nor would doing it provide me with money, or even be a step that would help me realise a bigger picture (Two of Wands).
No; I kept turning up and trying to write about the cards because once I’d disentangled my hope (The Star) and guidance from external sources, my internal navigation system (The Star) kicked in. And it was telling me this: I fucking love writing about the cards. I love using them to help me make sense of myself and the world. And I love, love, love the tiny possibility they will whisper new secrets to me when I pay close enough attention. Armed with this realisation, words and meaning for this month’s offering slowly came to me - you’re reading them now.
****
Don’t get me wrong, I'm still not sure where I want to take RVT, or why these offerings matter, or what my hopes are for any of it. But maybe, hope is over rated… It’s certainly, I think, deeply, deeply misunderstood.
Hope isn’t about having blind faith that everything will one day be okay and better. It's not even about knowing exactly what you want and fighting against all odds to get it. It's just, I think, about having and using your courage to navigate through the difficult or unknown. It's about accepting all that you don't know, all that could go wrong, and has gone wrong, and never was and never could be... and still choosing to be open and curious, still choosing to put one foot in front of the other even when the path ahead remains uncertain. It’s about being in touch with yourself enough (your values, your moral compass, your bliss) so that even when everything seems weird or scary or pointless you have something to turn to, something to steer with.
So that's the message of the cards this month: it's okay if you haven't got a fucking clue. It's okay if you do have a clue, but still have no idea how to solve it. It's okay if you feel exposed and weird and a little lost. Just do the next right thing... and the next right thing after that. Pay attention to what you usually rely on for guidance, and ask yourself if those directives and motivators are still relevant or healthy ways of keeping yourself going. Pay attention to what you come back to again and again, and how it makes you feel. Pay attention to what sparks your hope. What sucks it out of you. And most of all, what hope looks like to you. Are you holding out for a world in which everything feels okay and clear and possible? Or are you embracing the fragility, the horrors, the unknowableness of everything and daring to fucking have a go at life anyway?
UPDATES
March Availability for 1-1 Tarot Readings
I’d love to connect with you over the cards again. Book your readings here.
Events
Did you know I read Tarot for parties and events?! I also run workshops on how to read and use the Tarot! Give your event an injection of magic - email realvibestarot@gmail.com to discuss your needs.